Let me introduce myself: I am Maximus the great leader of the mighty Roman empire. I have the will, the shrewdness and the intellect to rule this empire longer than anyone before, or ever will.
Not necessary a people person, yet I recognize my subjects needs for bread and entertainment, hence I’ve never neglected the advancement of art & science and construction of public and economic infrastructures. I give them freedom of speech and freedom to pursue their religious aspiration. You don’t need to be loved, but I found with sufficient effort you can keep your subjects content while aggressively pursuing your territorial ambition.
Ours is such an advance and prosperous nation, that our GDP constitutes more than 30% of total world GDP. Other nations may preach about the merit of mercantilism, socialism or communism, but I’m a stern believer of the free market. The whole will get the benefit from individuals’ greed, that’s my dictum. And I live to witness how right I am, while the socialist utopia remains but a big dream in the sky.
Friends, I have a few. I have to keep hostile neighbours at bay continuously. Their hostility came from the fact that at one point in history, I invaded and grabbed some of their territories. But I have the necessary muscle to contain them. They’ve tried to take back their lost territories but failed. They dare not to try again. Lesson learned well.
Instead, they are active trading partners now. They have no choice: my country is rich in natural resources and manufacture goods with efficiency they can not attain with their current technology. Yes we are superiorly advanced, and from time to time we are able to sell obsolete technology to them for considerable amount of money. Loser.
I am not respected I know, I am feared. And that’s fine with me as long as I get what I want: room to breath, lebensraum, glory in the enlarged territory.
Just like last year for instance. Japan is one hell of an opponent. It has the muscle and the guts to invade its smaller, weaker neighbours. But my intelligence told me its technology is backwarded, most of its military equipment is outdated. It doesn’t even have a mechanized division. Its leader, Tokugawa, continuously asks to acquire the secret of advance technology. Once he gets it, he can build an array of advance weaponry such as Modern Armor and Mechanized Infantry. Well, unless he steals the technology from me using his network of spies—because I won’t sell it to him—he won’t be able to learn the technology until 20 years from now.
I have other agenda too; I’ve been eyeing some of its territories rich in uranium. So I quietly moved my troops to the border and split 8 divisions of Modern Armor, 4 divisions of Gunships, 8 artillery divisions and 8 squadrons of heavy bombers to 2 different targets in a pincher movement. Then I declared war.
He’s mad as hell of course, but he can’t do anything. I quickly besieged his 2 largest cities, took my time bombarding them until the defense soften up before I sent the Modern Armors for the kill. My intelligence was correct: only cavalry (horse cavalry!) infantry and machine gunners left to defend the cities, lots of them though. The cavalry desperate assault reminds me of Poland’s cavalry charge against German’s panzers in 1939 in the beginning of World War II. Brave, but futile. Don’t they learn from history? My Modern Armors easily swept them to the last man.
With a casualty of only 1 division of Modern Armor I captured both cities. And you know what, the people there actually cheers our victory and welcome us with open arms. With our advance civilization who can resist? I quickly built improvements, and poured money to the recently conquered cities. Yes, there’s few underground resistance but they have no popular support. I easily crushed them all in a mere few weeks. Hah, had Bush discussed his war plan with me before he invaded Iraq, he wouldn’t have such headache now.
Oh yes, I’m still at war with Tokugawa, but one by one his cities have fallen to my hands and there’s only one remaining stronghold left. But I reckon with 2 strikes I can finish him off. That will be the end for Japan.
I finally reach the end. I have enlarged this empire to the scale no tyrant ever dreamed of. I have kept my subjects happy and there has been no uprising for as long as I remember. It’s time to retire, I will left Rome strong, prosperous and glorious.
“You Win. You have the leadership quality of Dan Quayle”*, the message in the computer’s monitor announced. What? I spent 4 days to craft each movement carefully and this is all I’ve got? Hmmm, oh well, I guess the standard in Sid Meir’s Civilization IV is getting higher. I still have a good time though; I enjoy my reign of terror.
Yours truly,
Maximus The Maximum
*) Dan Qualyle was the 44th Vice President of the United States under George H. W. Bush (1989-1993). Throughout his time as Vice President, Quayle was widely ridiculed in the media and by many in the general public, in both the USA and overseas, as an intellectual lightweight. His most famous blunder was when he corrected student William Figueroa's correct spelling of "potato" as "potatoe" at an elementary school spelling bee in Trenton, New Jersey, on June 15, 1992. [source: Wikipedia]
***
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Thursday, January 04, 2007
High School Never Ends
The whole damn world is just as obsessed
With who's the best dressed and who's having sex,
Who's got the money, who gets the honeys,
Who's kinda cute and who's just a mess
And you still don't have the right look
And you don't have the right friends
Nothing changes but the faces, the names, and the trends
High school never ends
(High School Never Ends; Bowling for Soup)
When I first heard this song without really listening to the lyrics, I thought it’s just another happy song glorifying the high school years. The merry melody, the title and the way the band sing it brings to the conclusion.
After I find the lyrics, turned out that the song is actually means the opposite. The song is about a loser who “don't have the right look and don't have the right friends” in high school. He’s grateful when he finally graduates, but he finds the world is no different with high school situation; hence “high school never ends”. And believe me, I can relate to the song all too well.
It has some point, for my case at least. In high school I didn’t belong. With no look, no sporting ability, no car and no style I was almost invisible. Oh peer pressure can be so agonizing. I tried to blend in, followed the trend, hang out with them. That’s the problem: I tried too hard since actually their lifestyle doesn’t suit me. And still, I could not blend in. Ends up I wasted the best chance to excel in the thing I actually have the potential for: study.
Well, of course it wasn’t that bad. I eventually made friends with few people with whom I can be myself without being scorned. In study I wasn’t doing badly either, if only mediocre at best. Looking back, what I regret is the wasted time and the pain I put myself to for trying to be someone I am not. Had I found those good friends earlier, I could save myself from the agony and spend more time doing what I really like.
And the only thing that matters
Is climbing up that social ladder
Still care about your hair and the car you drive
Doesn't matter if you're sixteen or thirty-five
Now, here I am. So far life has been good to me and I’m grateful. Can’t claim that I’m doing very well, but certainly I’m not doing awfully worse than most of my peers. Over the years it turns up my so-called standard of living is getting higher with better income. Two different pair of shoes for instance, used to be sufficient for every occasion, and I didn’t buy new one before they really worn off. Now, I ‘need’ different shoes simply to match my attire.
And when I meet old friends what are we talking about? That’s right: “who's got the money, who gets the honeys”. Who does what and how well they do, who’s marrying who, who drives what, who lives where and so forth. Yes it’s true that most of the times we do it innocently without any ill intention, merely updating the situation, keep tracking the whereabouts of old friends. But honestly, sometimes unintentionally we also compare our life with theirs. Are we better off or worse off?
Ah without realizing it I have become the ‘them’ I despised in high schools. And I am still doing it, climbing up that social ladder, “doesn't matter if you're sixteen or thirty-five”. What used to be a peer pressure now becomes norms I have to fulfill. These are the norms I have to confirm so my friends and family can see me as a ‘somebody’—whatever it really means. The parameters? Right again, those things again: who does what and how well they do, who’s marrying who, who drives what, who lives where. So superficial, so pointless.
When does it end? Get real, high school never ends…
***
With who's the best dressed and who's having sex,
Who's got the money, who gets the honeys,
Who's kinda cute and who's just a mess
And you still don't have the right look
And you don't have the right friends
Nothing changes but the faces, the names, and the trends
High school never ends
(High School Never Ends; Bowling for Soup)
When I first heard this song without really listening to the lyrics, I thought it’s just another happy song glorifying the high school years. The merry melody, the title and the way the band sing it brings to the conclusion.
After I find the lyrics, turned out that the song is actually means the opposite. The song is about a loser who “don't have the right look and don't have the right friends” in high school. He’s grateful when he finally graduates, but he finds the world is no different with high school situation; hence “high school never ends”. And believe me, I can relate to the song all too well.
It has some point, for my case at least. In high school I didn’t belong. With no look, no sporting ability, no car and no style I was almost invisible. Oh peer pressure can be so agonizing. I tried to blend in, followed the trend, hang out with them. That’s the problem: I tried too hard since actually their lifestyle doesn’t suit me. And still, I could not blend in. Ends up I wasted the best chance to excel in the thing I actually have the potential for: study.
Well, of course it wasn’t that bad. I eventually made friends with few people with whom I can be myself without being scorned. In study I wasn’t doing badly either, if only mediocre at best. Looking back, what I regret is the wasted time and the pain I put myself to for trying to be someone I am not. Had I found those good friends earlier, I could save myself from the agony and spend more time doing what I really like.
And the only thing that matters
Is climbing up that social ladder
Still care about your hair and the car you drive
Doesn't matter if you're sixteen or thirty-five
Now, here I am. So far life has been good to me and I’m grateful. Can’t claim that I’m doing very well, but certainly I’m not doing awfully worse than most of my peers. Over the years it turns up my so-called standard of living is getting higher with better income. Two different pair of shoes for instance, used to be sufficient for every occasion, and I didn’t buy new one before they really worn off. Now, I ‘need’ different shoes simply to match my attire.
And when I meet old friends what are we talking about? That’s right: “who's got the money, who gets the honeys”. Who does what and how well they do, who’s marrying who, who drives what, who lives where and so forth. Yes it’s true that most of the times we do it innocently without any ill intention, merely updating the situation, keep tracking the whereabouts of old friends. But honestly, sometimes unintentionally we also compare our life with theirs. Are we better off or worse off?
Ah without realizing it I have become the ‘them’ I despised in high schools. And I am still doing it, climbing up that social ladder, “doesn't matter if you're sixteen or thirty-five”. What used to be a peer pressure now becomes norms I have to fulfill. These are the norms I have to confirm so my friends and family can see me as a ‘somebody’—whatever it really means. The parameters? Right again, those things again: who does what and how well they do, who’s marrying who, who drives what, who lives where. So superficial, so pointless.
When does it end? Get real, high school never ends…
***
Virtual Cage
Read the news in Tribun Makasar (Dec 21, 2006). It says that recently police, teachers and student council conducted an inspection among the students of Mangkura elementary school in Makassar. This is due to (still unconfirmed) news that one of the student has appeared in yet another improper video-phone recording movie. The teachers claim that they have suggested that students should not be equipped with cell phone, to minimize excess like this and stealing. But the parents refused, reasoning it will be difficult for them to pick the students after school or control their whereabouts.
While the excess is truly a concern, I can not help wondering on the reason mentioned by the parents. Is that really that difficult to coordinate pick up without a cell phone? I mean, they just have to wait at the gate don’t they? Unless of course, they’re just too lazy to get out of their car.
This is I think the curse of new technology. While it makes your life so much easier, at the other end it creates a new need. Hardly a need actually, but the convenience brought by these new tech has pampered us and we become attached to it. There’s a feeling that it’s something we can’t do without. The truth is, well, it’s just a feeling.
Having been a late embracer of new technologies and hi-tech lifestyle, I could not fathom the gravity of that problem. After all at some periods in my life I lived without sophisticated gadgets and I was doing just fine. Let’s see the things I regularly use now and when was the first time I used them:
• CD Player: 1997
• Cell phone: not until late 2000
• E-mail account and mailing list membership: 2001
• Yahoo Messenger 2004; Friendster: 2005; Blog: late 2006
• Cell phone with blue tooth: not until a few months ago
• Flash Disc: 1 month ago
However, the fateful last week of 2006 has changed my view. You know, that quake in Taiwan. When I am writing this it has been the fourth day without access to most of the important sites I visit regularly—including this blog. I have no problem with information and entertainment. There’s always TV, newspapers and books—just finished 2 books this week. But still something is missing: I’m not connected to the world. It’s like watching things passing by from inside a cage—virtual cage that is.
That attachment! Now I can empathize with those parents. Those technologies have been an integral part of our life that we take them for granted. It’s remarkable that a species who successfully inhabited all corner of the world by 5,000 BC using mostly stone and few iron tools, now can’t function well only because they can’t peek on the world through internet windows.
In the ice-age, some animal species became extinct after deprived from their source of food. Considering our dependency on advance technologies (and correspondingly how quick we de-learn to do basic stuff), is it possible that in the future our species may face extinction when cut off from them? Mmm... anybody still remember how to prepare rice without rice-cooker?
***
While the excess is truly a concern, I can not help wondering on the reason mentioned by the parents. Is that really that difficult to coordinate pick up without a cell phone? I mean, they just have to wait at the gate don’t they? Unless of course, they’re just too lazy to get out of their car.
This is I think the curse of new technology. While it makes your life so much easier, at the other end it creates a new need. Hardly a need actually, but the convenience brought by these new tech has pampered us and we become attached to it. There’s a feeling that it’s something we can’t do without. The truth is, well, it’s just a feeling.
Having been a late embracer of new technologies and hi-tech lifestyle, I could not fathom the gravity of that problem. After all at some periods in my life I lived without sophisticated gadgets and I was doing just fine. Let’s see the things I regularly use now and when was the first time I used them:
• CD Player: 1997
• Cell phone: not until late 2000
• E-mail account and mailing list membership: 2001
• Yahoo Messenger 2004; Friendster: 2005; Blog: late 2006
• Cell phone with blue tooth: not until a few months ago
• Flash Disc: 1 month ago
However, the fateful last week of 2006 has changed my view. You know, that quake in Taiwan. When I am writing this it has been the fourth day without access to most of the important sites I visit regularly—including this blog. I have no problem with information and entertainment. There’s always TV, newspapers and books—just finished 2 books this week. But still something is missing: I’m not connected to the world. It’s like watching things passing by from inside a cage—virtual cage that is.
That attachment! Now I can empathize with those parents. Those technologies have been an integral part of our life that we take them for granted. It’s remarkable that a species who successfully inhabited all corner of the world by 5,000 BC using mostly stone and few iron tools, now can’t function well only because they can’t peek on the world through internet windows.
In the ice-age, some animal species became extinct after deprived from their source of food. Considering our dependency on advance technologies (and correspondingly how quick we de-learn to do basic stuff), is it possible that in the future our species may face extinction when cut off from them? Mmm... anybody still remember how to prepare rice without rice-cooker?
***
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