Ahmad Dhani

Watched TV the other day and saw Ahmad Dhani gave an ultimatum to his wife, personnel of Ratu, Maia. He wants her back as a housewife taking care of their kids rather than being involved in the entertainment business. “Either Ratu stops its activities in 2007 or Dhani-Maia disbanded”, he said in his typical cocky manner.

Asked whether his decision was due to his concern that the ever increasing popularity of Ratu will eventually overshadow Dewa, he predictably answered, “for me Ratu is nothing, it is I who created Ratu. It’s in different class altogether compared with Dewa.”

Coming from him, such arrogance, controversy, over-confidence and blatant expression is not surprising for us. And yet most of the people I know, can understand his style. They still hate him, but they can understand him. Why? He is a genius and successful artist. And a genius has the privilege to be cocky because he has proved that he’s above the rest of us, mere mortal beings—at least in music.

I’m not going to argue with that. But I have to admit that Dhani is different. He might be politically incorrect by requiring his wife to stay at home. And the way he conveys his message doesn’t help either. But at least he has the honesty to say it loud. Good publicity be damn, he always pours his thought out on every topics anyone dare to ask.

Look, how many of those artists have the guts to say something like that to the media. Most only say: "yes we have a problem, but we’re trying to work it out". Or if it’s a split: "we have irrevocable differences we can’t sort out". Less savvy ones: "no comment" or "none of your business". And a well-rehearsed answers when being asked about fellow musician: "they’re good musicians too, but our fans / segments / music styles are different".

C’mon, you’re all artists. We love to hear controversies from you, so cut the crap and give us juicy gossips. And in you’re world being nice is not the norm, so why all this courtesy? We crave for bad news--about you of course. Our ordinary life is full of s**t, we’d like to hear rich and beautiful people like you occasionally have problems too. Just to remind us that you’re not perfect and there’s justice in this world after all.

But of course nobody wants to look like the bad guy / gal. There’s the Azharis with their expressive expletive but they simply don’t have the brain style. Dhani easily outclass them, that’s why we love to hate him. He will not hide behind trivial reasons. He talks, lives and does everything the way he likes it. And by doing that, he avoids mediocrity. For sure, Dhani is the epitome of a real man.

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Self Confidence

Alias Pede, atau tepatnya menurut EYD: kepercayaan diri. Yang satu ini kayaknya udah jadi sesuatu yang maha penting buat orang zaman sekarang. Coba aja hitung berapa banyak seminar yang mengangkat topik seputar masalah ini. Terus, berapa banyak produk (jenis, merek) yang diiklankan mampu meningkatkan rasa Pede. Hmm. Apa iya ya sudah segitu parahnya krisis Pede yang terjadi, secara justru masih banyak tuh contoh over Pede. Misalnya kejadian berikut.

Lokasi: tempat fotokopi; peserta: gue baru selesai fotokopi, ada satu orang lagi baru selesai fotokopi juga, lagi nulis nulis; latar belakang: baru selesai fotokopi eh hujan turun. Gue tunggu sebentar deh sambil minum teh botol dan ngerokok, daripada basah kalau lari-lari ke mobil? Sembari berdiri gue ngeliat sekilas apa yang difotokopi sama dia, ternyata lamaran kerja. Terus, ngeliat gue lagi bengong aja, dia memulai percakapan.

Dia (D): Sori, boleh tanya nggak.
Gue (G): Ya?
D: Nulis “milyar” yang bener gimana ya?
G: Oh, itu M-I-L-Y-A-R.
D: Nggak pakai D?
G: Nggak usah. Bahasa Indonesia-nya yang bener ya itu.
D: Oh gitu, makasih ya.
G: Oke.

(Diem sebentar, dia sibuk sendiri)

D: Pak, mau tanya lagi nih
G: Boleh.
D: Ini kalau saya disuruh tempel alamat di “kiri atas” ini di sini ya? (Nunjuk posisi agak tengah-tengah amplop coklat)
G: Mmm, bukannya di sini ya. (Sambil nunjuk posisi “kiri atas”).
D: Iya juga ya. Makasih ya pak.
G: He eh.

(Diem lagi, dia nulis nulis. Penasaran, gue mulai percakapan)

G: Mas, sebenernya…
D: Iya? (karena gue panggil dia mulai terpecah perhatiannya).Waduh jadi salah nulis nih.
G: Oh, sori sori.
D: Yah, nggak apa deh. Cuma satu kok, masih ada yang lain. Kenapa tadi pak?
G: Mmm, kalau boleh tau sebenernya mau ngelamar di mana ya?
D: Ini ada lowongan untuk jadi Manajer BPR xxx. Kayaknya bagus nih. Syaratnya mesti S1 sih, padahal saya cuma D3. Nanti kalau sudah keterima saya terusin aja. Bisa dong?
G: Eh, iya bisa kali ya. Sebelumnya pernah kerja di mana?
D: Yah, sebenernya belum pernah sih pak. Ini baru mulai ngelamar.
G: Nggak nyari posisi lain?
D: Cari juga, tapi yang sesuai dengan pendidikan dong. Ini kayaknya paling cocok, saya kan dari manajemen.
G: Oh gitu, ya udah deh semoga sukses kalau gitu.
D: Makasih infonya pak, makin yakin nih buat ngelamar.
G: Iya.

Calon Manajer BPR? Ini dia, kepercayaan diri yang luar biasa. Belum pernah kerja, kualifikasi nggak sesuai dan kompetensi kelihatannya juga pas-pasan. Tapi tetep dong, maju terus! Gimana, masih mau bilang orang kita krisis Pede?

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Dukun

You must have read about Ki Gendeng Pamungkas recently. He tried to put a spell on Bush which will make him feel terrified once he entered Istana Bogor and shorten his visit in Indonesia. Apparently it didn’t happen. Confronted with this fact, he answered nonchalantly, "how could I win if I was surrounded by 10 skillful Jewish dukuns. It’s good that I came unscratched from the fight." [Rakyat Merdeka Nov. 21].

He said that initially he only fought 5 of them, and quite successful in creating some problems to Air Force One. But then 5 more of these Jewish dukuns came, and the balance tipped to their favor. Typical dukunish reasoning don’t you think?

I purposely used "dukun" instead of a customary translation "shaman" here. Somehow the word "shaman" produce an image of a low profile, old, wise guy who uses his vast knowledge in a subtle way to help others, with no material motives behind. On the other hand, the word "dukun" creates an image of an opportunistic fraud, which uses his skill with words to sway his dim-witted victims for their money. In our daily life, we use the word dukun to ridicule others.

(+)Men, kayaknya hari ini lo bakal dapet rejeki nomplok deh.
(-)Ah dasar mbah dukun. Bilang aja kalau mau minta dibayarin makan siang.
(+)Iya ya...he he.

(+)Hey man, smells like fresh money is coming your way today.
(-)Oh Mr. dukun. Can’t you just say you want me to buy your lunch?
(+)That’s true...ha ha.

[This itch starts to annoy me by the way]

And I have several experiences with their like. First when a friend of my wife had her jewelries stolen by her servant. For the most part it’s her own fault, since she kept the jewelries in her unlocked room. She tried everything to locate the culprit to no avail. Finally she heard about this dukun, and asked me and my wife to accompany her to his place. She then consulted the dukun for some hours while we waited outside. And then she came out, looked less depressed than before. She said the dukun could not lock the culprit since she was using some kind of charm herself. But he had done what he could to stop her for crossing open water—meant she’s cursed to stay in Java forever.

And, that’s it. This dukun was smart enough to be vague but hopeful. But I don’t need to be half that smart to come out with something like that. And I give my bullshit for free to anyone care to listen—or read.

[Hurt myself for scratching too hard. Can’t stand this itch]

The other one is worse. This "orang-pintar" (literally smart guy, but actually means wise guy, yet another euphemism for dukun) promised to cure my relative’s illness. She has terminal cancer but refused to be treated in the hospital. Instead she relied on alternative medicine; this orang-pintar was one of them. So the big family gathered in her place as requested by the orang-pintar, to pray together while he performed the medication inside her room. Several hours later he emerged to announce that the operation showed initial success. There were several sessions needed lasting for 2 weeks and my relative actually felt better—she claimed. But that’s just an illusion since one month later she passed away.

When challenged, this orang-pintar said that during the praying session some participants had doubts on his ability, resulting in unsuccessful medication. See the pattern? Dukun Rule #1: when not prevail, blame others.

The final twist. Ki Gendeng Pamungkas mentioned that his spell will last for quite some times. As a result George W. Bush will lose in the next election. [Rakyat Merdeka Nov. 21] When later Bush will not even run for the U.S. presidency because he already served twice, Ki Gendeng Pamungkas can choose between the following dukunish reasoning:

(a) He meant when Bush is running for Iran’s Presidency. Yes, he has that ambition, just wait and see.

(b) He has actually succeeded in failing Bush’s attempt to change the Amendment that prevents him to serve for more than 2 terms. Thus, Bush can’t run because he—Ki Gendeng Pamungkas—has prevented it.

(c) And don’t forget, this time he is not only fighting 10 Jewish dukuns, but also 13 Voodoo dukuns, 27 Shoshone-Indian dukuns and 18 Druids dukuns.

Well that’s typical for...

[Wonder why this itch in my body won’t stop. Ouch, this itch is killing me, never had it like this before. Hey I’m red all over, they’re not even there this morning. Or…is it santet? Oh my God, help mbah dukun! I promise not to make fun of you anymore, just get me out of this misery please!]

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Work Life Balance

Subtly represents my mood today. Small details: instead of broken X Box, I have poor internet connection...And don't bother to press the "Read More" button this time.

God Bless America

I know that there are not too many of you reading this blog on regular basis. Still, apologize for the hiatus, I don’t plan to make a habit out of it. When I started this not so long ago, I was planning like updating this blog every other day. Too ambitious maybe, but I don’t want you to accuse me of being, how to say this, warm warm chicken shit (anget anget tai ayam in Bahasa).

Anyway, interesting development in the US in the past 2 days don’t you think? But not at all very surprising, in fact we have expected it from sometimes back. Close, but no, I’m not talking about Britney Spears filing a divorce. It’s about the Democrats dominating the House of Representatives again after 12 years.

It seems funny to expect what happened in the US will affect our life here. And what a reverse. I remember back in 2001, in a pre 9/11 world when George W. just won the presidency. There was a hot debate in my old college mate mailing list. Most of us were happy that a Republican candidate was elected. We thought that the paternalistic style of the Democrat Clinton will be over.

If you recall, all military ties were severed by the Clinton administration, due to what happened in East Timor. In fact, they linked everything with their democracy standard. No aid for corrupt governments, no assistance for countries with poor human-rights records, no business deal with countries ruled by military junta. And preaching what is good for us.

We thought that Republican will be more pragmatic, less idealist, friendly with big business. The result: good for the world, good for us. How naïve we were…

Of course 9/11 changes everything. But I suspect that even without it George W. administration is still too pragmatic, has low respect on moral value, and too friendly with big business. It doesn’t care that Pakistan is ruled by military junta, Kazakhtan by pseudo-democratic government, and China has poor human-rights records. Iraq? Halliburton of course. As long as it serves their purpose the Bush administration would turn a blind eye. And guess what, still preaching what is good for us.

I’m no political expert, to be precise realpolitik has always been low in my list. But I guess I have put my priority correctly: you can’t expect too much from politicians, be them in Indonesia or anywhere else. Even now, when I quietly cheer Democrat’s victory, I don’t think much will change with the world. The US government will continue pursue its own interest; the rest of the world is nothing but its supporting roles, replaceable once they don’t serve its interest.

Not everything from the new world is bad news though. Hugo Chaves, Evo Moralez, Lula da Silva and now please welcome: Ariel Ortega and his Sandinista. Looks like being left is back in trend.

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