Feel like a prisoner in gulag? Fight hard to keep your eyes open? Daydream about the next weekend plan? Let me guess where you are: in a boring meeting. No doubts there are some benefits of meetings. For instance, it serves as a signal to the outsiders about your status: the more meetings you have the higher you are in the corporate caste system. It’s also widely believed that “stuck in a meeting” is the number 2 excuse (after “traffic jam”) for missing an appointment—especially with your spouse. A more elegant and difficult to argue, nevertheless.
But still, sometimes you must feel the effort to go through it is not worth it. No worries though, years of being a corporate guy has not gone wasted: I have learned the necessary skills to survive long & boring meetings. Hear me, ye labouring and burdened salarymen, and I will lift the weight off your shoulders.
The trick is how to look as if you’re mind is still with them while actually it’s somewhere else. This way you can save your ass (the objective of being a corporate citizen) and amuse yourself at the same time. Here are several ways to do it.
a. Doodling
This is the most fundamental escapism you can do during a meeting. It’s almost foolproof, since what’s so unusual of taking a note during a meeting? But don’t get too excited otherwise people will suspect you of being inattentive. Nod from time to time to show that you’re still there. I found it useful to shot 1-2 questions before continue with the doodling.
Weakness: it’s okay if you’re no Rembrandt, but those with no aesthetic aspiration hardly find doodling entertaining.
b. Get busy with your laptop
It depends on the corporate culture or meeting etiquette in your company, but some allows you to work with your laptop during a meeting. All you are expected to is “giving a positive contribution to the meeting” while you occupy yourself with e-mails from friends and other stuffs inside that wonderful technology.
Weakness: rather than e-mails from friends you get urgent request from your client or emergency situation from your field guy. Already trapped in the meeting you can’t do nothing, and getting those news just make you feel more helpless and anxious. I prefer dealing with my problems one at a time.
c. Play phone games
Ah technology. It’s similar with playing video games in your laptop but in a less suspicious way, since the medium is smaller. Java games are easy to get depending on your mobile phone type. I don’t suggest playing games that need a lot of control movement such as “Meteor Attack”, “Quadrapop” or “Astro Furry”. Try those that leave you with enough time to think and don’t need so much dexterity, so you can always switch between playing and listening to discussion. I particularly like “Lopan / Mahjong” and “Sim City”.
Weakness: there’s a certain unfavorable stereotype on those who can’t stop texting activities. Not focus, not attentive, not grown up, can’t concentrate and so on. We don’t want to be identified with that sorry bunch of inexperienced juvenile do we? After all, we’re a mature and responsible corporate citizen. So we play games instead…
d. Draw Cartoon
You think you are gifted? Think you can outdo Davies, Schultz, Adams, Trudeau or Watterson? Try drawing cartoon then. Mine as you can see here is describing my thought during one of those ‘killer’ meetings. Just been hacked to pieces by the bosses in a presentation and wished I were somewhere else. If you think I copied an episode of ‘Dilbert’ well my friend you insult me: it’s directly stolen from it…
Weakness: need a spark of inspiration, spiced up with small amount of imagination. As you can see with the long absence of posting here, sometimes you just don’t have them.
Well folks, I hope these small tricks enlighten you, and you can find some joyful moments among your cramped, hectic, diminutive, frantic, deranged, corporate life.
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